Reading MS
by SariaHael
Summary: We've all heard of the Cullens reading Twilight. We've heard of Bella reding Twilight. But have we heard of Bella and Jacob reading Midnight Sun?
1. Chapter 1

**Heyllo everyone! I found this idea in a story and wanted to try it out myself. Please tell me if it is crappy.**

Bella Swan was confused. No, scratch that. She was completely befuddled.

One minute, she had been in her nice house in Arizona, just deciding to go and stay with Charlie, then there was a flash of light, and she was in a grey, windowless room with an Indian boy who seemed familiar. In the middle of the room was a table with three chairs. On the table, was a pile of papers.

"Um… hello. I'm Jacob Black, who are you?"The boy said.

Bella tilted her head and blushed "Bella Swan."

The boy, Jacob, made a startled sound." You're Charlie's daughter! When you came over to Forks we used to play together."

Bella nodded, vaguely remembering him. All of a sudden, there was another great flash of light. When it faded, another woman stood before them.

Her brown hair fell down to the top of her waist, her eyes were green surrounded by a rim of blue(**my actual looks**), and she was pretty. Not beautiful, just pretty with the potential to be beautiful. The woman smiled.

"Hello." she said" My name is Saria, you must be wondering why I called you here."

Both nodded.

"Well, "she smiled" I am the sister of Fate. When you, Bella, decided to come to Forks Fate chose a path for you, as she does all creatures. It is a good Fate, in the end, but the path to that happy ending is filled with death, including yours. I decided to give you a better one, filled with less danger but with the same outcome. You, Jacob Black, are to be forever intertwined in her life, in every path, which is why you are here."

Both of them looked shell shocked. It was Jacob was the first to recover.

"What do you mean `including yours` ? If Bella dies, how can she get a happy ending?" He demanded.

Saria smiled even wider." I was hoping somebody would notice that. Please, take a seat." She motioned to the table.

They followed her to the chairs and sat. Saria then went on to explain about vampires and their abilities. She assured Jacob they were not unfeeling, and gave some small descriptions of the Cullens and their lifestyle, past, and abilities. When she finished, the two were slumped in their seats, shocked beyond measure.

"IF you read this, you'll hear the thoughts of Edward Cullen, starting out on your first day Bella." She motioned to the stack of paper in the middle of the table, then vanished in another flash of light.

Bella picked up the stack with trembling hands and read"Midnight Sun"


	2. Chapter 2

**Hey guys! Last time I forgot the disclaimer I'M SO SORRY!!!!!!!!!! In this story it'll take some time for me to type, so please be patient. I love you all, even flamers. Read and Review!**

_**DISCLAMER: SARIA HAEL DOES NOT OWN TWILIGHT OR MIDNIGHT SUN.**_

* * *

"**First sight," **Bella read.

**This was the time of day when I wish I were able to sleep.**

**High school.**

**Or was purgatory the right word?**

"Yeah, I think it is." Jacob said jokingly, and Bella gave him a smile.

**If there was any way for me to atone for my sins, **

Bella frowned, she did not think Edward, or any of the Cullens, were bad.

**this ought to count toward the tally in some measure. The tedium was not something I grew used to; every day seemed more impossibly monotonous than the last.**

**I suppose this was my form of sleep- if sleep were defined as the inert state between active periods.**

"It must be hard, not being able to sleep." Jacob commented airily.

**I stared at the cracks running through the plaster in the far corner of the cafeteria, imagining patterns into them that were not there. It was one way to tune out the voices that babbled like the gush of a river inside my head.**

**Several hundred voices I ignore out of boredom.**

Jacob laughed at that." Harsh!" He said jokingly, and Bella frowned at him. She felt no-one should laugh at another's suffering.

**When it came to the human mind, I'd heard it all before and then some. **

**Today, all thoughts were consumed with the trivial drama of a new addition to the small student body here. It took so little to work them all up. **

**I'd seen the face repeated in thought after thought from every angle. Just an ordinary human girl.**

Bella humphed at that.

**The excitement over her arrival was tiresomely predictable- like flashing a shiny object at a child. Half the sheep-like males were already imagining themselves in love with her, just because she was something new to look at. **

**I tried harder to tune them out. **

**Only four voices did I block out of courtesy rather than distaste: my family, my two brothers and sisters, who were so used to lack of privacy in my presence that they rarely gave it a thought. I gave them what privacy I could. I tried not to listen if I could help it.**

**Try as I may, still.... I knew.**

**Rosalie was thinking, as usual, about herself. She'd caught her own profile in the refection off someone's glasses, and she was mulling over her own perfection.**

"Vanity." Jacob sang softly.

**Rosalie's mind was a shallow pool with few surprises.**

**Emmett was fuming over a wrestling match he'd lost to Jasper during the night. It would take all his limited patience to make it to the end of the school day to orchestrate a rematch. **

**I never really felt intrusive hearing Emmett's thoughts, because he never thought one thing that he would not say aloud or put into action. Perhaps I only felt guilty reading others' minds because I knew there were things there that they wouldn't want me to know. If Rosalie's mind was a shallow pool, then Emmett's was a lake with no shadows, glass clear.**

**And Jasper was... suffering. I suppressed a sigh.**

And Bella suppressed a frown." Poor Jasper" She thought.

_**Edward. **_**Alice called my name in her head, and had my attention at once.**

**It was just the same as having my name called aloud. I was glad my given name had fallen out of style lately- it had been annoying; anytime anyone thought of any Edward, my head would turn automatically.....**

Bella tilted her head. "That's interesting" She commented.

**My head didn't turn now. Alice and I were good at these private conversations. It was rare that anyone caught us. **

**I kept my eyes on the lines in the plaster.**

_**How is he holding up?**_** She asked me.**

**I frowned, just a small change in the set of my mouth. Nothing that would tip the others off. I could easily be frowning out of boredom.**

Jacob gave a great laugh."Sneaky!" He boomed, and Bella giggled along with him.

**Alice's mental tone was alarmed now, and I saw in her mind that she was watching Jasper in her peripheral vision. **_**Is there any danger? **_**She searched ahead, into the immediate future, skimming through visions of monotony for the source behind the frown.**

**I turned my head slowly to the left, as if to look at the bricks of the wall, sighed, and then to the right, back to the cracks in the ceiling. Only Alice knew I was shaking my head.**

**She relaxed. **_**Let me know if it gets too bad.**_

**I moved only my eyes, up to the ceiling above, and back down.**

_**Thanks for doing this.**_

**I was glad I couldn't answer her aloud. What would I say? 'My pleasure'? It was hardly that. I didn't enjoy listening to Jasper's struggles. **

**Was it really necessary to experiment like this? Wouldn't the safer path be to just admit that he might never be able to handle the thirst like the rest of us could, and not push his limits? Why flirt with disaster?**

**It had been two weeks since our last hunting trip. That was not an immensely difficult time span for the rest of us. A little uncomfortable occasionally- if a human walked too close, if the wind blew the wrong way. But humans rarely walked too close. Their instincts told them what their conscious minds would never understand: we were dangerous.**

**Jasper was very dangerous right now.**

Both Bella and Jacob gave a small shiver.

**At that moment, a small girl paused at the end of the closest table to ours, stopping to talk to friend. The heaters blew her scent in our direction. I was used to the way the scent made me feel- the dry ache in my throat, the hollow yearn in my stomach, the automatic tightening of my muscles, the excess flow of venom in my mouth....**

Another, more powerful shudder.

**This was all quite normal, usually easy to ignore. It was harder just now, with the feelings stronger, doubled, as I monitored Jasper's reaction. Twin thirsts, rather than just mine.**

**Jasper was letting his imagination get away from him. He was picturing it- picturing himself getting up from his seat next to Alice and going to stand beside the little girl. Thinking of leaning down and in, as if he were going to whisper in her ear, and letting his lips touch the arch of her throat. Imagining how the hot flow of her pulse beneath the fine skin would feel under his mouth....**

**I kicked his chair.**

**He met my gaze for a minute, and then looked down. I could hear shame and rebellion war in his head.**

"**Sorry," Jasper muttered.**

**I shrugged.**

"**You weren't going to do anything," Alice murmured to him, soothing his chagrin. "I could see that."**

**I fought back the grimace that would give her lie away. **

**We had to stick together, Alice and I. It wasn't easy, hearing voices and seeing visions of the future. Both freaks among those who were already freaks. We protected each other's secrets.**

Bella smiled at that. She felt that way about Renee, they were protective of each other.

"**It helps a little if you think of them as people," Alice suggested, her high, musical voice too fast for human ears to understand, if any had been close enough to hear. "Her name is Whitney. She has a baby sister she adores. Her mother invited Esme to that garden party, remember?"**

"**I know who she is." Jasper said curtly. He turned away to stare out of one of the small windows that were space just under the eaves around the long room. His tone ended the conversation.**

**He would have to hunt tonight. It was ridiculous to take risks like this, trying to test his strength, to build his endurance. Jasper should just accept his limitations and work within them. His former habits were not conductive to our chosen lifestyle; he shouldn't push himself in this way.**

**Alice sighed silently and stood, taking her tray of food- her prop, as it were- with her and leaving him alone. She knew when he'd had enough of her encouragement. Though Rosalie and Emmett were more flagrant about their relationship, it was Alice and Jasper who knew each other's every mood as well as their own. As if they could read minds, too- only just ea****c****h other's.**

Jacob seemed very interested in that. That was how imprints were described in his tribe's legends. If, like the ones of vampires, they were true, werewolves and vampires would have more in common then the Elders thought.

_**Edward Cullen.**_

**Reflex reaction. I turned to the sound of my name being called, though it wasn't being called, just thought.**

**My eyes locked for a small portion of a second with a pair of wide, chocolate-brown human eyes set in a pale, heart-shaped face. **

Bella blushed at her description.

**I knew the face, though I had never seen it myself before this moment. It had been foremost in every human head today. The new student, Isabella Swan. **

**Daughter of the town's chief of police, brought to live here by some new custody situation. Bella. She corrected everyone who'd used her full name....**

**I looked away, bored. **

**It took me a second to realize that she had not been the one to call my name.**

_**Of course she's already crushing on the Cullen's, **_**the first thought continued.**

Bella blushed even harder, and Jacob started to laugh.

**Now I recognized the 'voice'. Jessica Stanley- it had been a while since she'd bothered me with her internal chatter. What a relief it had been when she'd gotten over her misplaced infatuation. **

**It used to be nearly impossible to escape her constant, ridiculous daydreams. I'd wished, at the time, that I could explain to her **_**exactly **_**what would have happened if my lips, and the teeth behind them, had gotten anywhere near her. The thought of her reaction almost made me smile.**

_**Fat lot of good it would do her, **_**Jessica went on. **_**She's really not even pretty.**_

Bella frowned, and Jacob made an angry noise.

"She doesn't know what she's talking about!" Jacob yelped, and Bella went right back on to blushing, but gave Jacob a grateful smile.

_**I don't know why Eric is staring so much... or Mike.**_

**She winced mentally at the last name. Her new infatuation, the generically popular Mike Newton, was completely oblivious to her. **

**Apparently, he was not as oblivious to the new girl. Like the child with the shiny object again.**

Bella gave a small shudder.

**This put a mean edge to Jessica's thoughts, though she was outwardly cordial to the new comer as she explained to her the commonly held knowledge of my family. **

**The new student must have asked about us.**

_**Everyone's looking at me today, too, **_**Jessica thought smugly in an aside. **_**Isn't it lucky Bella had two classes with me....I'll bet Mike will want to ask me what she's-**_

A shadow started to grow in Bellas eyes while Jacob gave a low growl.

**I tried to block the inane chatter out of my head before the petty and trivial could drive me mad.**

"**Jessica Stanley is giving the new Swan girl all the dirty laundry on the Cullen clan." I murmured to Emmett as a distraction.**

**He chuckled under his breath. **_**I hope she's making it good, **_**he thought.**

"**Rather unimaginative, actually. Just the barest hint of scandal. Not one ounce of horror. I'm a little disappointed."**

_**And the new girl? Is she disappointed in the gossip as well?**_

**I listened to hear what this new girl, Bella, thought of Jessica's story. **

**What did she see when she looked at the strange , chalky-skinned family that is universally avoided?**

**It was sort of my responsibility to know her reaction. I acted as a lookout, for lack of a better word, for my family. To protect us. If anyone ever grew suspicious, I could give us and early warning and an easy retreat. It happened occasionally-some human with an active imagination would see us in the characters of a book or a movie. Usually they got it wrong, but it was better to move on somewhere new than to risk scrutiny.**

**Very, very rarely someone would guess right. We didn't give them a chance to test their hypothesis. We simply disappeared to become no more than a frightening memory....**

**I heard nothing, though I listened close beside where Jessica's frivolous internal monologue continued to gush. **

**It was as if there was no one sitting beside her. How peculiar, had the girl moved? That didn't seem likely, as Jessica was still babbling to her. I looked up to check, feeling off-balance. Checking on what my extra 'hearing' could tell me- it wasn't something I ever had to do. **

"Saria did say he couldn't hear me, thank lord." Bella said, the shadow dissipating a fraction of an inch.

**Again, my gaze locked on those same wide brown eyes. She was sitting right where she had been before, and looking at us, a natural thing to be doing, I supposed, as Jessica was still regaling her with the local gossip about the Cullen's.**

**Thinking about us, too, would be natural.**

**But I couldn't hear a whisper.**

**Inviting warm red stained her cheeks as she looked down, away from the embarrassing gaffe of being caught staring at a stranger. It was good that Jasper was still gazing out the window. I didn't like to imagine what that easy pooling of blood would do to his control.**

**The emotions had been as clear on her face as if they were spelled out in words across her forehead; **

Bella groaned as Jacob laughed, something he seemed to be doing a lot, mostly at Bellas expense.

**surprise, as she unknowingly absorbed the signs of subtle differences between her kind and mine, curiosity, as she listened to Jessica's tale, and something more... fascination? It wouldn't be the first time. We were beautiful to them, our intended prey. Then, finally, embarrassment as I caught her staring at me.**

**And yet, though her thoughts had been so clear in her odd eyes- odd, because of the depth to them; brown eyes often seemed flat in their darkness-**

**I could hear nothing but silence from the place she was sitting. Nothing at all.**

**I felt a moment of unease.**

**This was nothing I had ever encountered before. Was there something wrong with me? **

"No," Bella said suddenly" if anything, there's something wrong with _me_!"

**I felt exactly the same as I always did. Worried, I listened harder.**

**All of the voices I had been blocking were suddenly shouting in my head.**

_**... wonder what music she likes... maybe I could mention that CD... **_**Mike Newton was thinking, two tables away- fixated on Bella Swan.**

Another groan slipped from her mouth.

_**Look at him staring at her. Isn't it enough that he has half the girls in school waiting for him to...**_** Eric Yorkie was thinking sulphurous thoughts, also revolving around the girl.**

The shadow had returned, and was growing darker.

_**... so disgusting. You'd think she was famous or something... Even Edward **_**Cullen **_**staring... **_**Lauren Mallory was so jealous that her face, by all rights, should be dark jade in color. **_**And Jessica, flaunting her new best friend. What a joke... **_**Vitriol continued to spew from the girl's thoughts.**

Bella and Jacob glared at the sheets of harmless paper.

_**...I bet everyone has asked her that. But I'd like to talk to her. I'll think of a more original question....**_**Ashley Dowling mused.**

_**... Maybe she'll be in my Spanish... **_**June Richardson hoped.**

"Oh COME ON!" Bella finally exploded" Is EVERYONE thinking about me!?" Jacob said nothing, secretly terrified at the murderous look on Bellas face.

_**...tons left to do tonight! Trig, and the English test. I hope my mom... **_**Angela Weber, a quiet girl, whose thoughts were unusually kind, was the only one at the table that wasn't obsessed with this Bella.**

"Good, at least there's _one_ polite person in that school." Bella humphed, but was secretly pleased that there was at least one possible friend at Forks High.

**I could hear them all, hear every insignificant thing they were thinking as it passed through their minds. But nothing at all from the new student with the deceptively communicative eyes.**

**And, of course, I could hear what the girl said when she spoke to Jessica. I didn't have to read minds to be able to hear her low, clear voice on the far side of the long room.**

"**Which one is the boy with the reddish brown hair?" I heard her ask, sneaking a look at me from the corner of her eye, only to look quickly away when she saw that I was still staring.**

Jacob gave Bella a suggestive wink and Bella blushed.

"Edward and Bella sittin in a tree, K.I.S.S.I.N.G!" Jacob sang.

Bella slumped low into her seat and started to sing over her new friends singing.

**If I'd had time to hope that hearing the sound of her voice would help me pinpoint the tone of her thoughts, lost somewhere where I could not access them, I was instantly disappointed. Usually, people's thoughts came to them in a similar pitch as their physical voices.**

**But this quiet, shy voice was unfamiliar, not one of the hundreds of thoughts bouncing around the room, I was sure of that. Entirely new.**

_**Oh, good luck idiot! **_**Jessica thought before answering the girl's question.**

Bella looked affronted, Jacob looked pissed ( is this a swear word? Please tell me if it is).

"Oh, just shut your stupid trap, tramp!" Jacob yelled.

"**That's Edward. He's gorgeous, of course, but don't waste your time. He doesn't date. Apparently none of the girl's here are good-looking enough for him." She sniffed.**

**I turned my head away to hide my smile. Jessica and her classmates had no idea how lucky they were that none of them particularly appealed to me.**

**Beneath the transient humor, I felt an odd impulse, one I did not clearly understand. It had something to do with the vicious edge to Jessica's thoughts that the new girl was unaware of... **

**I felt the strangest urge to step in between them, to shield this Bella Swan from the dark workings of Jessica's mind. What an odd thing to feel.**

**Trying to ferret out the motivations behind the impulse,** **I examined the new girl one more time.**

**Perhaps it was just some long buried protective instinct- the strong for the weak. **

Bella humphed, and could be heard muttering" Weak, I'm not weak.. Stupid vampire… Weak my foot"

Umm, Bella?" Jacob started slowly, as to not ignite her terrifying wrath." Could you…umm…please keep reading?"

Bella nodded, gave one more murmur of "Weak", and began to read again.

**This girl looked more fragile than her new classmates. Her skin was so translucent it was hard to believe it offered her much defense from the outside world. I could see the rhythmic pulse of blood through her veins under the clear, pale membrane... But I should not concentrate on that. **

"Hell yes, you shouldn't" Jacob imploded loudly.

**I was good at this life I had chosen, but I was just as thirsty as Jasper and there was no point in inviting temptation.**

**There was a faint crease between her eyebrows that she seemed unaware of.**

**It was unbelievably frustrating! I could clearly see that it was s train for her to sit there, to make conversation with strangers, to be the centre of attention. I could sense her shyness from the way she held her frail-looking shoulders, slightly hunched, as if she were expecting a rebuff at any moment. **

**And yet, I could only sense, could only see, could only imagine. There was nothing but silence from the very unexceptional human girl. I could hear nothing. Why?**

"**Shall we?" Rosalie murmured, interrupting my focus.**

**I looked away from the girl with a sense of relief. I didn't want to continue to fail at this- it irritated me. **

**And I didn't want to develop any interest in her hidden thoughts simply because they were hidden from me. No doubt, when I did decipher her thoughts- and I **_**would **_**find a way to do so- they would be just as petty and trivial as any human's thoughts. Not worth the effort I would expend to reach them.**

"You would be lucky to read Bellas thoughts!" Jacob defended, and Bella shot him a grateful look. That had hurt her, and Jacob had helped.

"**So, is the new one afraid of us yet?" Emmett asked, still waiting for my response to his question before.**

**I shrugged. He wasn't interested enough to press for any more information. Nor should I be interested.**

**We got up from the table and walked out of the cafeteria.**

**Emmett, Rosalie and Jasper were pretending to be seniors; they left for their classes. I was playing a younger role than they. I headed off for my junior level biology class, preparing my mind for the tedium. It was doubtful that Mr. Banner, a man of no more than average intellect, would manage to pull out anything in his lecture that would surprise someone holding 2 graduate degrees in medicine.**

**In the classroom, I settled into my chair and let my books- props again; they held nothing I didn't already know- spill across the table. I was the only student who had a table to himself. The humans weren't smart enough to know that they feared me, but their survival instincts were enough to keep them away.**

**The room slowly filled as they trickled in from lunch. I leaned back in my chair and waited for time to pass. Again, I wished I were able to sleep.**

**Because I'd been thinking about her, when Angela Weber escorted the new girl through the door, her name intruded on my attention.**

_**Bella seems just as shy as me. I'll bet today is really hard for her. I wish I could say something...but it would probably just sound stupid...**_

Bella beamed" I like Angela!" Jacob nodded an agreement, then motioned for her to read on.

_**Yes! **_**Mike Newton thought, turning in his seat to watch the girls enter.**

**Still, from the place Bella Swan stood, nothing. The empty space where her thoughts should be irritated and unnerved me.**

**She came closer, walking down the aisle beside me to get to the teacher's desk. Poor girl; the seat next to me was the only one available. Automatically, I cleared what would be her side of the desk, shoving my books into a pile. I doubted she would feel very comfortable here. She was in for a long semester- in this class at least. Perhaps, though, sitting beside her, I'd be able to flush out her secrets... not that I'd ever needed close proximity before... not that I would find anything worth listening to...**

"You'd be surprised." Jacob muttered angrily.

**Bella Swan walked into the flow of the heated air that blew towards me from the vent.**

**Her scent hit me like a wrecking ball, like a battering ram. There was no image violent enough to encapsulate the force of what happened to me in that moment.**

Bella gave a shuddering gasp, and Jacob eyes darkened.

**In that instant, I was nothing close to the human I'd once been; no trace of the shreds of humanity I'd managed to cloak myself in remained.**

**I was a predator. She was my prey. **

"I…I m…m…must b…be hi…his sing…_singer_!"Bella managed to stammer out, recalling what Saria had told them.

Jacob gave a growl as his answer, and Bella started to, shakily, read again.

**There was nothing else in the whole world but that truth.**

**There was no room full of witnesses- they were already collateral damage in my head. The mystery of her thoughts were forgotten. Her thoughts meant nothing, for she would not go on thinking them much longer.**

"_NO_!" Jacob boomed, but Bella read on.

**I was a vampire and she had the sweetest blood I had smelt in eighty years.**

**I hadn't imagined such a scent could exist. If I'd known it did, I would have gone searching for it long ago. I would have combed the planet for her. I could imagine the taste....**

Bella gave such a shudder, she almost dropped the story.

**Thirst burned in my throat like fire. My mouth was baked and desiccated. The fresh flow of venom did nothing to dispel that sensation. My stomach twisted with the hunger that was an echo of the thirst. My muscles coiled to spring.**

**Not a full second had passed. She was still taking the same step that had put her downwind from me.**

**As her foot touched the ground, her eyes slid towards me, a movement she clearly meant to be stealthy. Her glance met mine, and I saw myself reflected in the wide mirror of her eyes.**

**The shock of the face I saw there saved her life for a few thorny moments.**

**She didn't make it easier. When she processed the expression on my face, blood flooded her cheeks again, turning her skin the most delicious color I'd ever seen. The scent was a thick haze in my brain. I could barely think through it. My thoughts raged, resisting control, incoherent.**

"Please, keep resisting." Bella begged to nothing.

**She walked more quickly now, as if she understood the need to escape. Her haste made her clumsy- she tripped and stumbled forward, almost falling into the girl seated in front of me. Vulnerable, weak. Even more than usual for a human.**

Bella noted how she would have felt insulted at that comment, but now was to afraid to be.

**I tried to focus on the face I'd seen in her eyes, a face I recognized with revulsion. The face of the monster in me- the face I'd beaten back with decades of effort and uncompromising discipline. How easily it sprang to the surface now!**

**The scent swirled around me again, scattering my thoughts and nearly propelling me out of my seat.**

**No.**

"Yes!" Jacob cheered.

**My hand gripped under the edge of the table as I tried to hold myself in my chair. The wood was not up to the task. My hand crushed through the strut and came away with a palmful of splintered pulp, leaving the shape of my fingers carved into the remaining wood.**

**Destroy evidence. That was a fundamental rule. I quickly pulverized the edges of the shape with my fingertips, leaving nothing but a ragged hole and a pile of shavings on the floor, which I scattered with my foot.**

**Destroy evidence. Collateral damage...**

**I knew what had to happen now. The girl would have to come sit beside me, and I would have to kill her.**

"You don't _have _to do anything!" Jacob shouted, his face desperate.

**The innocent bystanders in this classroom, eighteen other children and one man could not be allowed to leave this room, having seen what they would soon see.**

**I flinched at the thought of what I must do. Even at my very worst, I had never committed this kind of atrocity. I had never killed innocents, not in over eight decades. And now I planned to slaughter twenty of them at once.**

Bella gave a shuddering sob, horrified that twenty people would be killed, all for her.

**The face of the monster in the mirror mocked me.**

**Even as part of me shuddered away from the monster, another part was planning it.**

**If I killed the girl first, I would have only fifteen or twenty seconds with her before the humans in the room would react. Maybe a little longer, if at first they did not realize what I was doing. She would not have time to scream or feel pain; I would not kill her cruelly. That much I could give this stranger with the horribly desirable blood.**

Jacob hissed while Bella sobbed harder.

**But then I would have to stop them from escaping. I wouldn't have to worry about the windows, too high up and too small to provide an escape for anyone. Just the door- block that and they were trapped.**

**It would be slower and more difficult, trying to take them all down when they were panicking and scrambling, moving in chaos. Not impossible, but there would be much more noise. Time for lots of screaming. Someone would hear... and I'd be forced to kill even more innocents in this black hour.**

"NO!" Bella cried.

**And her blood would cool, while I murdered the others.**

**The scent punished me, closing my throat with dry aching...**

**So the witnesses first then.**

"No!" Bella cried again, only much weaker.

**I mapped it out in my head. I was in the middle of the room, the furthest row in the back. I would take the right side first. I could snap four or five of their necks per second, I estimated. It would not be noisy. The right side would be the lucky side; they would not see it coming. Moving around the front and back up the left side, it would take me, at most, five seconds to end every life in this room.**

Both of them shuddered in revulsion.

**Long enough for Bella Swan to see, briefly, what was coming for her. Long enough for her to feel fear. Long enough, maybe, if shock didn't freeze her in place, for her to work up to a scream. One soft scream would not bring anyone running.**

**I took a deep breath, and the scent was a fire that raced through my dry veins, burning out from my chest to consume every better impulse that I was capable of.**

**She was just turning now. In a few seconds, she would sit inches away from me.**

**The monster in my head smiled in anticipation.**

**Someone slammed a folder shut on my left. I didn't look up to see which of the doomed humans it was. But the motion sent a wave of ordinary, unscented air wafting across my face.**

**For one short second, I was able to think clearly. In that precious second, I saw two faces in my head, side by side.**

**One was mine, or rather had been: The red eyed monster that had killed so many people that I'd stopped counting their numbers. Rationalized, justified murders. A killer of killers, a killer of other, less powerful monsters. It was a god complex, I acknowledged that- deciding whose deserved a death sentence. It was a compromise with myself. I had fed on human blood, but only by the loosest definition. My victims were, in their various dark pastimes, barely more human than I was.**

**The other face was Carlisle's.**

Bella felt a flutter of confusion break the haze of horror and sadness that was dominating her thoughts.

**There was no resemblance between the two faces. They were bright day and blackest night.**

**There was no reason for there to be a resemblance. Carlisle was not my father in the basic biological sense. We shared no common features. The similarity in our coloring was a product of what we were; every vampire had the same ice pale skin. The similarity in the color of our eyes was another matter- a reflection of mutual choice.**

**And yet, though there was no base of resemblance, I'd imagined that my face had begun to reflect his, to an extent, in the last seventy-odd years that I had embraced his choice and followed in his footsteps. My features had not changed, but it seemed to me like some of his wisdom was marked on my expression, that a little of his compassion could be traced in the shape of my mouth and hints of his patience were evident on my brow.**

**All of those tiny improvements were lost in the face of the monster. In a few moments, there would be nothing left in me that would reflect the years I'd spent with my creator, my mentor, my father in all ways that counted. My eyes would glow red as a devil's; all likeliness would be gone forever.**

**In my head, Carlisle's kind eyes did not judge me. I knew he would forgive me of this horrible act that I would do. Because he loved me. Because he thought that I was better than I was. And he would still love me, even as I know proved him wrong. **

"Then don't prove him wrong!" Jacob growled.

**Bella Swan sat down in the chair next to me, her movements stiff and awkward- with fear?- and the scent of her blood bloomed in an inexorable cloud around me.**

**I would prove my father wrong about me. The misery of this fact hurt almost as much as the fire in my throat.**

**I leaned away from her in revulsion- revolted by the monster aching to take her.**

**Why did she have to come here? Why did she have to exist? Why did she have to ruin the little peace I had in this non-life of mine? Why had this aggravating human ever been born? She would ruin me.**

"I'm sorry." Bella said brokenly, to quiet for Jacob to hear.

**I turned my face away from her, as a sudden fierce, unreasoning hatred washed through me.**

**Who **_**was**_** this creature? Why me, why now? Why did I have to lose everything just because she happened to chose this unlikely town to appear in?**

**Why had she come here!**

**I didn't want to be the monster! I didn't want to kill this room full of harmless children! I didn't want to lose everything I'd gained in a lifetime of sacrifice and denial! **

**I wouldn't. She couldn't make me.**

"Yes!" Jacob cried again.

**The scent was the problem, the hideously appealing scent of my blood. If there were only some way to resist... if only another gust of fresh air could clear my head.**

**Bella Swan shook out her long, thick, mahogany hair in my direction.**

**Was she insane? It was as if she were encouraging the monster! Taunting him.**

Bella whimpered.

**There was no friendly breeze to blow the smell away from me now. All would soon be lost.**

**No, there was no helpful breeze. But I didn't **_**have **_**to breathe.**

**I stopped the flow of air to my lungs; the relief was instantaneous, but incomplete. I still had the memory of the scent in my head, the taste of it on the back of my tongue. I wouldn't be able to resist for even that for long. But perhaps I could resist for an hour. One hour. Just enough time to get out of this room full of victims, victims that maybe didn't have to be victims. If I could resist for one short hour.**

**It was an uncomfortable feeling, not breathing. My body did not need oxygen, but it went against my instincts. I relied on scent more than my other senses in times of stress. It led the way into the hunt, it was the first warning in case of danger. I did not often come across something as dangerous as I was, but self-preservation was just as strong in my kind as it was in the average human.**

**Uncomfortable, but manageable. More bearable than smelling **_**her **_**and not sinking my teeth into that fine , thin, see-through skin to the hot, wet, pulsing-**

Both gave another shudder, disgusted beyond belief.

**An hour! Just one hour. I must not think of the scent, the taste.**

**The silent girl kept her hair between us, leaning forward so that it spilled across her folder. I couldn't see her face, to try to read the emotions in her clear, deep eyes. Was this why she'd let her tresses fan out between us? To hide those eyes from me? Out of fear? Shyness? To keep her secrets from me?**

"Maybe she's scared." Jacob growled. Saria had practically beat into his head the Cullens were good, but his opinion of them was falling rapidly.

**My former irritation at being stymied by her soundless thoughts were weak and pale in comparison to the need- and the hate- that possessed me now. For I hated this frail human woman-child beside me, hated her with all the fervor with which I clung to my former self, my love of my family, my dreams of being something better than I was... Hating her, hating how she made me feel- it helped a little. Yes, the irritation I'd felt before was weak , but it, too, helped a little. I clung to any emotion that distracted me from imagining what she would taste like...**

**Hate and irritation. Impatience. Would this hour never pass?**

**And when the hour ended... then she would walk out of this room. And I would do what?**

**I could introduce myself. **_**Hello, my name is Edward Cullen. May I walk you to your next class?**_

**She would say yes. It would be the polite thing to do. Even already fearing me, as I suspected she did, she would follow convention and walk beside me. It should be easy enough to lead her in the wrong direction. A spur of the forest reached out like a finger to touch the back corner of the parking lot. I could tell her I'd forgotten a book in my car...**

"Í would follow." Bella whispered softly, silently accepting what seemed to be her fate.

**Would anyone notice that I was the last person she's been seen with? It was raining, as usual; two dark rain coats heading in the wrong direction wouldn't pique too much interest, or give me away.**

**Except that I was not the only student who was aware of her today- though no one was as blisteringly aware as I was. **

Bella gave a small groan at that thought.

**Mike Newton, in particular, was conscious of every shift in her weight as she fidgeted in her seat- she was uncomfortable so close to me, just as anyone would be, just as I'd expected before her scent had destroyed all charitable concern. Mike Newton would notice if she left the classroom with me.**

**If I could last an hour, could I last two?**

"YES!" Jacob shouted.

**I flinched at the pain of the burning.**

**She would go home to an empty house. Police chief Swan worked a full day. I knew this house, as I knew every house in the tiny town. His home was nestled right up against the thick woods, with no close neighbors. Even if she had time to scream, which she would not, there would be no one to hear.**

Bella gave another shudder, knowing he was right.

**That would be the responsible way to deal with this. I'd gone seven decades without human blood. If I held my breath, I could last two hours. And when I had her alone, there would be no chance of anyone else getting hurt. **_**And no reason to rush through the experience**_**, the monster in my head agreed.**

Another growl, filled with hate.

**It was sophistry to think that by saving the nineteen humans in this room with effort and patience, I would be less of a monster when I killed this innocent girl.**

**Though I hated her, I knew my hatred was unjust. I knew that what I really hated was myself. And I would hate us both so much more when she was dead.**

Jacob started to shake with anger.

**I made it through the hour in this way- imagining the best ways to kill her. I tried to avoid imagining the actual act. That might be too much for me; I might lose this battle and end up killing everyone in sight. So I planned strategy, and nothing more. It carried me through the hour.**

**Once, towards the very end, she peeked up at me through the fluid wall of her hair. I could feel the unjustified hatred burning out of me as I met her gaze- see the reflection of it in her frightened eyes. Blood painted her cheek before she could hide in her hair again, and I was nearly undone.**

**But the bell rang. Saved by the bell- how cliché. **

Bella gave a humorless laugh, trying to ease the tension. She failed miserably.

**We were both saved. She, saved from death. I, saved for just a short time from being the nightmarish creature I feared and loathed.**

**I couldn't walk as slowly as I should as I darted from the room. If anybody had been looking at me, they might have suspected that there was something not right about the way I moved. No one was paying attention to me. **

**All human thoughts swirled around the girl who was condemned to die in little more than an hour's time.**

**I hid in my car.**

**I didn't like to think of myself having to hide. How cowardly that sounded. But it was unquestionably the case now.**

**I didn't have enough discipline left to be around humans now. Focusing so much on my efforts on not killing one of them left me no resources to resist the others. What a waste that would be. If I were to give in to the monster, I might as well make it worth the defeat.**

**I played a CD of music that usually calmed me, but it did little for me know. No, what helped most now was the cool, wet, clean air that drifted with the light rain through my open windows. **

**Though I could remember the scent of Bella's blood with perfect clarity, inhaling the clean air was like washing out the inside of my body from its infection.**

**I was sane again. I could think again. And I could fight again. I could fight against what I didn't want to be.**

"Yes, fight." Jacob murmured, calming down now that Bella was safe.

**I didn't have to go to her home. I didn't have to kill her. Obviously, I was a rational, thinking creature, and I had a choice. There was always a choice.**

"Yes, that's what I said." Jacob nodded.

**It hadn't felt that way in the classroom... but I was away from her now. Perhaps, if I avoided her very, very carefully, there was no need for my life to change. I had things ordered the way I liked them now. Why should I let some aggravating and delicious nobody ruin that?**

Bella flinched at being called a nobody, but stayed quiet. She would rather live and be insulted, then die.

**I didn't have to disappoint my father. I didn't have to cause my mother stress, worry... pain. Yes, it would hurt my adoptive mother, too. And Esme was so gentle, so tender and soft. Causing someone like Esme pain was truly inexcusable.**

**How ironic that I'd wanted to protect this human girl from the paltry, toothless threat of Jessica Stanley's snide thoughts. I was the last person who would ever stand as a protector for Isabella Swan. She would never need protection from anything more than she would need it from me.**

**Where was Alice, I suddenly wondered? Hadn't she seen me kill the Swan girl in a multitude of ways? Why hadn't she come to help- to stop me or help me clean up the evidence, whichever?**

"Yes, why." Bella murmured thoughtfully, and Jacob couldn't suppress the thought it was maybe because she's heartless.

**Was she so absorbed with watching for trouble with Jasper that she'd missed this much more horrific possibility? Was I stronger than I thought? Would I really not have done anything to the girl?**

**No. I knew that wasn't true. Alice must be concentrating on Jasper very hard.**

**I searched in the direction I knew she would be, in the small buildings used for English classes. It did not take me long to locate her familiar 'voice'. And I was right. Her every thought was turned to Jasper, watching his small choices with minute scrutiny.**

**I wished I could ask her advice, but at the same time, I was glad she didn't know what I was capable of. That she was unaware of the massacre I had considered in the last hour.**

**I felt a new burn through my body- the burn of shame. I didn't want any of them to know.**

**If I could avoid Bella Swan, if I could manage not to kill her- even as I thought that, the monster writhed and gnashed his teeth in frustration- then no one would have to know. If I could keep away from her scent....**

**There was no reason why I shouldn't try, at least. Make a good choice. Try to be what Carlisle thought I was.**

"What you are." Bella murmured softly. If letting her live caused him that much pain and suffering, then he must be good.

**The last hour of school was almost over. I decided to put my new plan into action at once. Better than sitting here in the parking lot where she might pass me and ruin my attempt. Again, I felt the unjust hatred for the girl. I hated that she had this unconscious power over me. That she could make me be something I relived.**

**I walked swiftly- a little too swiftly, but there were no witnesses- across the tiny campus to the office. There was no reason for Bella Swan to cross paths with me. She would be avoided like the plague she was.**

**The office was empty except for the secretary, the one I wanted to see.**

**She didn't notice my silent entrance.**

"**Mrs. Cope?"**

**The woman with the unnaturally red hair looked up and her eyes widened. It always caught them off guard, the markers they didn't understand, no matter how many times they'd seen one of us before.**

"**Oh." She gasped, a little flustered. She smoothed her shirt. **_**Silly, **_**she thought to herself. **_**He's almost young enough to be my son. Too young to think of that way... **_

Bella giggled and Jacob smiled. It was funny.

"**Hello, Edward. What can I do for you?" her eyelashes fluttered behind her thick glasses.**

**Uncomfortable. **

Jacob started to laugh at Edwards expense, glad he could be a little vindictive.

**But I knew how to be charming when I wanted to be. It was easy, since I was able to know instantly how any tone or gesture was taken.**

**I leaned forward, meeting her gaze as if I were staring deeply into her depthless, small brown eyes. Her thoughts were already in a flutter. This should be simple.**

Bella joined him in the laughter.

"**I was wondering if you could help me with my schedule," I said in a soft voice I reserved for not scaring humans.**

**I hear the tempo of her heart increase.**

"**Of course, Edward. How can I help?" **_**Too young, too young,**_

"You mean, too _old_!" Jacob said between laughter, and Bella nearly fell of the seat.

**she chanted to herself. Wrong, of course. I was older than her grandfather. But according to my driver's license, she was right.**

"**I was wondering if I could move from my biology class to a senior level science. Physics, perhaps?"**

"**Is there a problem with Mr. Banner, Edward?"**

"**Not at all, it's just that I've already studied this material..."**

"**In that acceleration school you all went to in Alaska, right?" Her thin lips pursed as she considered this. **_**They should all be in college. I've heard the teachers complain. Perfect four point ohs, never a hesitation with a response, never a wrong answer on a test- like they've found some way to cheat in every subject. Mr. Varner would rather believe that anyone was cheating than think a student was smarter than him... I'll bet their mother tutor's them...**_

"Or their just decades old." Bella said, happy that the mood was bright again.

"**Actually, Edward, physics is pretty much full right now. Mr. Banner hates to have more than twenty-five students in a class-"**

"**I wouldn't be any trouble."**

_**Of course not. Not a perfect Cullen**_**. "I know that, Edward. But there just aren't enough seats as it is..."**

"**Could I drop the class, then? I could use the period for independent studies."**

"**Drop Biology?" Her moth fell open. **_**That's crazy. How hard is it to sit through a subject you already know? There must be a problem with Mr. Banner. I wonder if I should talk to Bob about it? **_**"You wouldn't have enough credits to graduate."**

"**I'll catch up next year."**

"**Maybe you should talk to your parents about that."**

**The door opened behind me, but whoever it was did not think of me, so I ignored the arrival and concentrated on Mrs. Cope. I leaned slightly closer, and held my eyes a little wider. This would work better if my eyes were gold instead of black. The darkness frightened people, as it should.**

"**Please, Mrs. Cope?" I made my voice as smooth and compelling as it could be- and it could be considerably compelling. **

"**Isn't there some other section I could switch to? I'm sure there has to be an open slot somewhere? Sixth hour biology can't be the only option..."**

**I smiled at her, careful not to flash my teeth so widely that it would scare her, letting the expression soften my face.**

**Her heart drummed faster. **_**Too young, **_**she reminded herself frantically. "Well, maybe I could talk to Bob- I mean Mr. Banner. I could see if-"**

**A second was all it took to change everything; the atmosphere in the room, my mission here, the reason I'd leaned towards the red-haired woman... What had been for one purpose was now for another.**

**A second was all it took for Samantha Wells to open the door and place a signed tardy slip in the basket by the door, and hurry out again, in a rush to be away from school. A second was all it took for the sudden gust of wind through the open door to crash into me. A second was all it took for me to realize why that first person through the door had not interrupted me with her thoughts.**

"Oh _no_, not again." Bella moaned, and the atmosphere was back to being tense.

**I turned, though I did not need to make sure. I turned slowly, fighting to control the muscles that rebelled against me.**

**Bella Swan stood with her back pressed to the wall beside the door, a piece of paper clutched in her hands. Her eyes were even wider than usual as she took in my ferocious, inhuman glare.**

**The smell of her blood saturated every particle of air in the tiny, hot room. My throat burst into flames.**

"If he dares." Jacob started to mutter, and Bella read louder.

**The monster glared back at me from the mirrors of her eyes again, a mask of evil.**

**My hand hesitated in the air above the counter. I would not have to look back in order to reach across it and slam Mrs. Cope's head into her desk with enough force to kill her. Two lives, rather than twenty. A trade. **

**The monster waited, anxiously, hungrily, for me to do it.**

**But there was always a choice- there **_**had **_**to be.**

Jacob nodded franticly.

**I cut off the motion to my lungs, and fixed Carlisle's face in front of my eyes. I turned back to face Mrs. Cope, and heard her internal surprise at the change in my expression. She shrank away from me, but her fear did not form into coherent words.**

**Using all the control I'd mastered in my decades of self-denial, I made my voice even and smooth. There was just enough air in my lungs to speak once more, rushing through the words.**

"**Never mind, then. I can see that it's impossible. Thank you so much for your help."**

**I spun and launched myself from the room, trying not to feel the warm-blooded heat of the girl's body as I passed within inches of it.**

**I didn't stop until I was in my car, moving too fast the entire way there. Most of the humans had cleared out already, so there weren't a lot of witnesses. I heard a sophomore, D.J. Garrett, **

**notice, and then disregard....**

_**Where did Cullen come from- it was like he just came out of thin air... There I go, with the imagination again. Mom always says...**_

**When I slid into my Volvo, the others were already there. I tried to control my breathing, but I was gasping at the fresh air like I'd been suffocated.**

"**Edward?" Alice asked, alarm in her voice.**

**I just shook my head at her.**

"**What the hell happened to you?" Emmett demanded, distracted, for the moment, from the fact that Jasper was not in the mood for his rematch.**

**Instead of answering, I threw the car in reverse. I had to get out of this lot before Bella Swan could follow me here, too. My own personal demon, haunting me... I swung the car around and accelerated. I hit forty before I was on the road. On the road, I hit seventy before I made the corner.**

Bella frowned.

**Without looking, I knew that Emmett, Rosalie and Jasper had all turned to stare at Alice. She shrugged. She couldn't see what had passed, only what was coming.**

**She looked ahead for me now. We both processed what she saw in her head, and we were both surprised.**

"**You're leaving?" she whispered.**

**The others stared at me now.**

"**Am I?" I hissed through my teeth.**

**She saw it then, as my resolve wavered and anther choice spun my future in a darker direction.**

"**Oh."**

**Bella Swan, dead. My eyes, glowing crimson with fresh blood. The search that would follow. The careful time we would have to wait before it was safe for us to pull out and start again....**

Jacobs muttering grew louder, and Bella shot him a glare before continuing.

"**Oh," she said again. The picture grew more specific. I saw the inside of chief Swan's house for the first time, saw Bella in a small kitchen with the yellow cupboards, her back was to me as I stalked her from the shadows... let the scent pull me towards her...**

Jacob started to vibrate.

"**Stop!" I groaned, not able to bear anymore.**

"**Sorry," she whispered, her eyes wide.**

**The monster rejoiced. And the vision in her head shifted again. An empty highway at night, the trees beside it coated in snow, flashing by at almost two hundred miles per hour.**

"**I'll miss you," she said. "No matter how short a time you're gone."**

**Emmett and Rosalie exchanged an apprehensive glance.**

**We were almost at the turn off onto the long drive that lead to our home.**

"**Drop us here," Alice instructed. "You should tell Carlisle yourself."**

**I nodded, and the car squealed to a sudden stop.**

**Emmett, Rosalie and Jasper got out in silence; they would make Alice explain when I was gone. Alice touched my shoulder.**

"**You will do the right thing," she murmured. No vision this time- an order. "She's chief Swan's only family. It would kill him too."**

Bellas eyes grew sad at the hint about how Charlie cared for her.

"**Yes," I said, agreeing only to the last part.**

**She slid out to join the others, her eyebrows pulling together in anxiety. They melted into the woods, out of sight before I could turn the car around. **

**I accelerated back towards town, and I knew the visions in Alice's head would be flashing from dark to bright like a strobe light. As I sped back to Forks doing ninety, I wasn't sure where I was going. To say goodbye to my Father? Or to embrace the monster inside me? The road flew away beneath my tires.**

"That's the end." Bella said quietly, then waited for Jacob to calm down.

"I thought Saria said they were good." Jacob finally said.

Bella frowned, and instantly went to defend them.

" He resisted," Bella pointed out" even though it hurt him, he resisted."

Jacob had no reply for that, and when Bella handed him the story, he quietly began.


	3. I'M SSSSOOOOO SORRY

**Hey everyone! Now, I'm sure you've all noticed my absence. I am grounded from the computer. I've just got permission to write this from my grandma, but I don't know when I'm off. As soon as I am, I'll start writing again. AND NO, I WONT TELL YOU WHY I'VE BEEN GROUNDED!!!!!!!!!!**


	4. The End

**ALERT - AUTHOR'S NOTE AHEAD - PLEASE READ:**

**Hello readers - me again. I know it's been forever since I last updated, and that isn't fair for any of you. However, I have completely lost intrest in Twilight. GASP**

**So without any idea how to do it, I have to stop writing Twilight. I just cant pick up the story line for my twilight storys. I have absolutely no idea where to go from here.**

**So, if anyone wants to take over either of my Twilight storys, They are welcome. First come first serve.**

**I'm very sorry**


	5. SisterOfAnElvenWannabe

**SisterOfAnElvenWannabe now owns this story**

**SO GO READ IT**


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